Seeing the Future
by KeplersDream
Summary: Following the events through "Age of Steel," Rose ponders her role in the Doctor's universe.


Author's notes: Whilst this isn't necessarily in this same universe as The Mirror and the Other, I'm exploring some themes that may or may not pertain to future plot and character developments. Here is a short introspective piece at the crux of a very interesting storyarc — "School Reunion," "The Girl in the Fireplace," and the "Rise of the Cybermen" two-parter.

* * *

 **Seeing the Future**

Rose sat sullenly on her neon pink comforter whilst her mum rattled pots and pans in the small estate kitchen. It was just the two of them; the Doctor had returned to the TARDIS, alone, having tired of the 'domestics' and Jackie Tyler. In some other universe, another Rose Tyler was begging her blue-eyed, rude and Northern Doctor to stay for dinner. He would hum and haw over 'domestics,' nonetheless remaining in the defence of British culinary tradition against Jackie's assault on bangers and mash. But in this universe, Rose was thankful that the pretty new new Doctor was otherwise occupied.

She knew her mum had sensed tension between the two time travellers, especially after the latest adventure at the end of which, as the Doctor explained, "Mickey went home." The previous night, Rose managed to keep her screams at memories of the Cyber-Jackie muffled by her pillows and comforter. She cried at the rejection of her parallel father. She mourned the loss of Mickey to the parallel world and adventure. She felt lost whilst the Doctor seemed to take it in stride like a day of cold London rain. Rose knew she would not be able to tell her mum any of her previous three adventures. Like Mickey, Jackie would sagely remind her daughter of _blokes like that always tradin' the missus for the mistress_ , never mind that her late husband had been twelve years her senior. Even twenty years after his death, Jackie loathed to speak of Pete Tyler, partly out of guilt from their bitter arguments and inevitable divorce, partly out of the eerie feeling that he had been her soulmate. So deep was this depressive silence that it took a six-year-old blonde girl to fix her mummy like a broken toy soldier.

Ever her mum's daughter, Rose learnt to freeze-frame those whom she loved and place them on a Neoclassical pedestal fit for a god. She had grown up believing in fairytales of her father's genius and devotion to Jackie and a handsome (and preferably wealthy) prince on a white horse coming to rescue her from the poverty of the Powell Estate. Since encountering the Doctor, Rose's childhood fairytales were put to experiment, tested, measured and proven to be fallacious. She met two Pete Tylers who struggled to meet a demanding wife's expectations and gave into the attentions of other young blondes. She met a forgotten and abandoned companion, whom the Doctor loved deeply at some point. Then she encountered the uncrowned Queen of France who, within the frame of one day, seemed to impress the Doctor more than she had in a year. History had been in jeopardy; though Rose knew it as an incontrovertable truth, she still could not fathom the reason why she and Mickey were judged by the Time Lord to be so _disposable_.

No one is unimportant.

That's what her first Doctor said.

Apparently, the new new Doctor believed otherwise. He did not seem to notice when Rose began to chew her nails again, he did not pay mind to Mickey's and Rose's — as ex-boyfriend and ex-girlfriend — obvious discomfort at sharing space, nor did he care about their respective roles as his assistants. Rose winced at the memory of ignoring Mickey to chase the Doctor about as if he were the assistant to the assistant. _The Tin Dog._ Now that Mickey was gone, that meant she would become the new dog. The Doctor would forget her — he already had.

Before their discovery of Lumic's Cybermen, the parallel world — which the Doctor had derided as a gingerbread house — had like chocolate warmly welcomed and enveloped Rose. She could tell Mickey felt it, too. Despite the Doctor's general prattling on about its 'wrongness,' Rose had genuinely been tempted to stay and have a do-over of her life, even if it had meant never seeing him again. Rose wrapped her arms around her now icy frame as the shame burned her face. Her mum, still alive, would have been left adrift in the desolation of the Powell Estate.

Sliding off the bed's surface and tucking herself into a semi-loose ball at its foot, Rose pondered the self-admission in surprise and confusion. She hadn't thought that she was expecting anything from the Doctor other than adventure; along the way, however, the young Briton clung to the belief that she was important to the Doctor and the universe, that whilst her path to make her life better on Planet Earth had thus been a dismal failure, Rose Tyler of the Powell Estate could be the Stuff of Legends _out there_.

Her life had been moulded by regret and a desire to do and be _so much more_.

 _Don't be puttin' on airs and graces, Rose Marion Tyler!_ echoed her mum's voice. _A life here's jus' as good as any._

Rose couldn't ask her mum for advice on bloody Sarah Jane Smith or Madame de Pompadour. After all, look at them — Sarah Jane, former beloved companion of a Doctor previous to both of hers, who became a respected journalist in her own right, and the cultured maîtresse en titre to Louis XV, salonnière and unofficial diplomate during the Seven Years' War. On one hand, two beautiful, bright women fought against the stark shadows of historical and institutional sexism; on the other hand, an ASBO-chav from South London allowed a rocker wannabe derail her path to B and C-grade A-Levels.

She wondered if he ever truly saw her.

Though she had no proof that had been more than three or four Doctors, Rose sensed that the number of times he had regenerated had been ever greater, much to Mickey's delight and fodder for vindication.

 _Karma's a bitch, love._

When prodded by her ex about the number of missuses and exs, Rose avoided comparing her two Doctors, loyally rejoining that "they're both the Doctor." Yet when she was alone within the confines of her mind, Rose confessed her doubts. Although she had fully trusted herrough-round-the-edges, leather-coated Doctor, this second Doctor caused her to feel uneasy for the first time since 2004 and Jimmy Stone. This Doctor was not simply angry and hurt — he was calculating, with a sliver of ice in his heart. Rose shivered as a single tear traced the curvature of her cheek. She absorbed the Time Vortex to save him; once he took it out of her, the regeneration went a bit wrong.

 _"But you and I both know, don't we, Rose, that the Doctor is worth the monsters."_

What if the Doctor is a monster?

What if she is?

They both killed the Daleks, no second chances.

Had Sarah Jane killed them, too?

Over the past few months, she found herself in constant, silent arguments with both her mum, who feared the unknown, and the Doctor, who simultaneously encouraged and stiffled her. _In the parallel world, why the 'ell did he follow me instead of Mickey?_ she sniffed angrily. Though Mickey would wither and die eventually, he would never choose to remain indefinitely on board the TARDIS. Whereas Rose took giant leaps, Mickey took baby steps. But when he did take them, he was unstoppable, she concluded with a smile. He did and would have made an excellent replacement for her.

So why didn't he do it? Why didn't he invite Jake or Pete into the TARDIS?

The same reason why he was reluctant to go exploring the parallel world with Mickey and Rose. It didn't need to be said.

But the Doctor — this Doctor — did not want to make people better so much as control them.

There's me.

Rose closed her eyes at the hollowness of her 'victory.' He had made their choice; she was to stay aboard the TARDIS until further notice.

Should she stay with him and be his lifeboat until beached?

 _Yes. Some things are worth getting your heart broken for. You don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand. You say "no"! You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away!_

Someone's got to be the Doctor.


End file.
